Its boxing day today... have u ever wonder why is it called boxing day? lol.. a layman like me thought that its an official day where international boxers celebrate... or perhaps its the birth date of WWE. haha.. wat a naive thought. hm.. so decided to check up wat is it all abt this day that makes ppl 'box' each other. so.. eventualli, i concluded that Boxing day is actualli a day whereby employers would buy gifts for their employees in appreciation of thier hard work throughout the year. Its usualli practiced n UK and Australia. how nice to be appreaciated by ur superior.. i guess this should be implemented in our dept as well.. hm.. need not be expensive stuffs.. perhaps a box of candy is sufficient to make me happier. heex...

Work is as usual.. i am now in SIM B.. and soon gg away to room 5. so excited! cos room 5 seems so fun. haha.. SIM B is not bad either.. at least its far away from gossips. its a quiet place where one could pecefully work in. haha.. though we do gossips internally at times.. i realli do have great seniors in SIM B. thx to both of them that i realli learnt so much. They made me filled up my small little notebook with words and stuffs. I think i like sim in fact. although trtment seems to be more routine and brain-dying.. lol.. sim realli made me think a little bit faster than usual. it make my brain work a little bit more than b4. haha.. overall, i like it there!

School term is gonna start soon! well.. i guess in 2 weeks time. This sem timetable looks less pack than last sem.. cos we kinda spread out the modules well.. my results for last sem was so-so.. i thought i could do better.. anyway, i must and i should do better this time round. No excuses anymore cos i can take leave unlike the past sem. Paid for two instalments for sch fees le..heartache.. finalli felt the pain when the hard earned money just disappear from my account in one shot. i hate it.. cant wait for the 3rd instalment to be settled.. cant wait for my pay increment after confirmation. cant wait for the pay rise aft degree. I cant wait! its so realistic. I cant imagine that i had turned to such a person who placed money as such an importance. Guess this is the mental diferences that we go through throughout the dfferent stages in life. sometimes i just feel so inferior being refered to as a diploma salary rate. i hate it! hence i guess i should and i MUST at least obtain a degree. To prove PPL wrong abt being a diploma rate.

Well.. I had finally worked for 4 mths.. seems like a year to me.. working is not fun at all.. 4 mths in a room was disastrous for me.. of cos i had my joy and fury there.. now that i am gg to leave, feels abit sad initialli... but afterall its just part and parcel of work life(working with different ppl).. *perhaps my seniors were cheering in their heart* after this 'long' period of time, i realised that i could understand myself better through work.. i dun seem to be the person i used to be... i seriously have low concentration at times.. and i am quite attitude too.. lol.. i always thought that i could bear with ppl's nonsense.. but it dun seem so too.. my emotions could easily leak out through my facial expressions.. hm.. i dunno if its a good thing.. i guess not.. cos my attitude always affect others.. hm.. feel bad at times for my teammates for making them so irritated at times.. i came to work with the mentality that i should stay as low profile as possible and out of the political world. but it seems that once u are in that boundary, nth could stop you from being dragged into ppl's daily hot topics. i think i have become quite pessimistic... for everything.. work and... life. I am glad that i have my patients.. cos i feel that they are my source of motivation. sometimes i dragged myself to work.. not because of the work scope.. but because of the ppl in the dept. hm.. i think my interpersonal skills sux to core... my communication skills sux too.. it sets me to wonder am i really that lousy to be reprimanded everytime for some stupid things i did. 

Life after work is not fun either. have a feelin that all my close ppl disappeared suddenly. it seems so difficult to get ppl out for dinner.. well.. today i was rejected twice for asking ppl out for dinner. what had happened to my social life? i practically goes back home every single day after work. nobody could realli hear me out.. listen to my naggings abt work and sorts. i feel so lonely... i miss my days in the near past. now that everyone is so busi with their own stuffs... hmm.. i cant possibly blame ppl for that too.. well.. i think i need time to cope with my new 'social' life then..

Left less than 14 more days to start of work. I am so depressed! Why has my 2 months of holiday ended so fast!?! YEt thinking back, i din realli do much of things.. besides gg for cruise n genting. i realli rotted my days away. Time flies. We had already signed our employment letter last fri. Got my lab coat and had our medical check up. I seriuosly dunno how will it be like when work start. Hm.. think i gg treat it like another attachment,, but a much stressful one.

WEnt drivin with Kj today. Cos my bro is out of town.. so i get to drive his car. its very scary initialli. Actualli didnt get to drive since CNY period le. A bit stressful with dear beside me too.. He got no patience de. but still learnt how to park. thou not very good. I drove sis to sch, then went yew tee find connie but she wasnt at home. Den wanted to find sY out but think she is busi with alex lol... So finalli we went to find kat.. talked to her.. hope we had psycho-ed her to do sth abt the letter that she hesitated to gif to her 'partner'. Driving back was quite smooth.. think cos i am more familiar with roads around BBDC.

Actualli planned to go gym for the next few days. but think cannot le.. cos i had my dayima. wondering how are shan liangs doing. Chia was like disappeared. cos she seldom reply to our msg le. tmr meeting them for dinner at lot one. Yep.. tmr we are g KTV in the after noon! finalli.. like long time nvr go liaoz.. since keelee's bday when we sat in and talked instead. heard they had another quarrel again. Hope things are gg alrite for them.

Hm.. left just 24 more days to start of work.. Oohh.. The day that i dread is drawing nearer! Realli have been slacking at home for the past two mths that i cant even find any mood to start work.. I can imagine how is it like on the first day! I'll just be liek a student who may even forgotten how to do simple shifts.. SHIT. Then the seniors will talk at my back saying how come i graduate le still donno this donno that.. Haiz.. dunno how is the department le.. heard from sharon that many people had left.. should be leaving the less interesting ppl ard in the department.. Well... Just feel like living in our own world when we start work there... Avoid all unneccesary gossips and politicks. But i guess its gonna be difficult too.. The fact that we are all eventualli separated into individual rooms. Hm.. guess starting work is definitely much more stressful than attachmentS! I seriously cant wait for one year to pass where we do not have to juggle between our part time degree course and work. Thinking of it already made me so anxious. The next time when the next fee will be in november and then in january 2008.. I guess my finantial status will be realli very much tighter than b4. Feel realli guilty when I cant bring home money during my first year of work. Start saving!!!!! Haiz.. Once sch and work start, think the time to meet my dear will decrease too.. i will even have lessons on saturdays! And think there will be saturdays alternate shifts too. Hope the timetable wont crash. Hm think better make good use of the rest of my freedom days before I step into the working world. Now then i realised the luxury of being a student! *Besides exams*

Been so long since i last entered a blog entry. HEee.. this is my new blog design! So like it! and finally found the songs i want to find:D

YEah we went celebrate our dear meh meh de 22nd birthday two days ago.. WEnt KTV in the afternoon den we went dinner at The Secret Garden lol.. This year is pathetic cos onli the few pathetic of us during the celebration. But then, think the few of us is enuff to create havoc liaoZ! 

Oo.. poor mehz.. had been mentally tortured by so many people.. and she finally broke down yesterday. Sayang le. Haiz. Sometimes i feel that maintaining a relationship is so challenging. haiz.. but still hope she recover really soon!!!

Hmm somehow.. dunoo why we so crazy that time.. lol.. Went parco bugis and took so much pix!! crazy pics too haha.. but had realli enjoyed ourselves!! Haha.. posing like the models on posters or wall boards.. lolz.. I think most successful pose is meh meh one la.. though she had took so long to pose that unbalance 'pose'.. lol.. most daring is dajie's one.. lolz! and most funni is the 3 of us de haha... most creative is auntie's one... holding on to the shoe!!! lolzz.. uncles posed for pirate of carribean and huishan ambassordored Citigems lolz.. wahahaa..

We went clarke quay after that.. yeah.. dada brought us there! The place is so so so nice!!! Dont look like Singapore... LOL I seem to be the mt turtle there.. We also went to the 'big door' of MOS.. da told us that its not as good haha.. but stil lcurious to find out how it look likE!! so exciting..!! We are gg again next Week!!! LADIES NIGHT!!!

Now very free.. so picked up a book from my brother's shelf.. Tuesdays with morrie.. Actualli had already watched the movie with my fellow group mates in DPH this early year le.. It's a good movie.. I guess i would be nice if i could read the book as well.. Cos i need some motivations and wisdom teachings about life.. Hmm.. it was a long time since i last read. This is a book by Mitch albom, who was a student of a college professor morrie schwartz.

Mitch who had lost of directions and working aimlessly for high wages several years after graduation, had lost contact with his college professor-mentor, morrie. IT was only like more than a decade that mitch, by chance met his mentor.. but to his regret, morrie was down with an incurrable deadly illness and was only left with a few mths. Fate brought them back together again after so long.. Mitch visited morrie every tuesdays. morrie saw death as optimistic views. He shared with the media as well as his love ones and mitch about the process of dying. He gave them precious advices and teachings. Mitch and morrie rekindled their relationship during the last lap of morrie's journey and it turned out into their final class.. lesson of life..

Saw the movie.. very touching ending.. of course, morrie died eventually, leaving his love ones a beautiful memory of him.. Though he is dead, the memories of him are still alive in many people.  Everyone see death differentlly. I remembered Serene, our DPH coordinator had once told us that do not be afraid of thinking of death because everyone will experience it.. I once had the taboo thought of 'DEATH'. I don't usually dare to think of what if i die one day... ermm.. as in this had never cross my mind.. cos i find it taboo-ish. However, after joining this career as an RT, the word 'death' is unavoidable to most of us.. we see people dying.. or ppl who strive hard in order not to die so early.. ppl who suffer thru the process of dying.. ppl who wants to die but unsuccessfully.. In our module, we also discuss about euthanasia.. assisted dying.. etc..

I had attended a course which made me think critcally of this... They posed us a qn.. *Close you eye*.. Imagine you know that you are left with 1 week to your death. Think of what would you do.. Think of who would be with you. Where you want to go.. My wish is simple.. as i listed down.. time is the greatest factor..  "I would express my gratitude to my dearest parents who brought me up and showered me tons of love.. my siblings who had been through with me beautiful memories and made me a better person. Take care my family.. I would also write letters to apologise to ppl whom i let down before in my life. also letter of appreciation to those whom i am grateful to in my life.. And for the rest of my days, I would wish to spend it with my dearest baobei.. " *teary* .. After listing all these, I realised how much had i took for granted in the past 20 years.. Its usually made in human that we don appreciate until its too late.. words like "I love you", "you are great", "i miss you" are powerful words that are conveyed to people whom you love to let them know they are appreciated. However, due to traditions, people usually misplaced in somewhere else. sigh~ Its never too late now to let your love ones know how much you love them.. Never wait till its too late.. Never leave regrets ...

Quotations from the book:

1) Death ends a life, not a relationship

2) The most important thing in life is learn how to give out love, and to let it come in

3) Once you learn how to die, you'l learn how to live

4) Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too--even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling.

The feeling after exams and presentaions and assignments is so so so wonderful!!! I guess our class had realli went through series of marathon (4 ICAs, FYP presentaions, Admin and law presentations, asignments and assignments) in a row of less than 2 weeks. Didn't know how had we survived that.. It was like hell.. HAving nights with only few hours sleep, rushing 2500 words reports, doing videosss for fyp, studying for ICAs llalalala....

i guess was the hardest times i ever had in my three years in NYP! Thanks to my dearest baobei kj, my peer supports, dada and my family for always being so encouraging. We made it! *relieve*

Last friday we had our class D & D. It was a success thanks to da and the deco team and the emcees! they're great!lol.. me and keelee performed.. well i think we din do as good.. lolz.. but still all of us enjoyed taking pics and pics and pics!! Time flies.. 3 years seems to be so long but yet it was already over now. 

Recalling the times when I had to call up mr chin to ask for delay of my term as I had to attend my brother's congragation.. lol.. so funny.. my other classmates had already started school while i was having fun a far far away places.. lol.. Because of this, Mr chin and other lecturers remembered my name till now lol.. haha.. was quite funni when i returned back to school.. cos everyone was already in their cliques and i was the odd one out.. yeah! thanks tp serene who brought me around the school lolz.. Seem so long aGO!!! omg.. haha

Well, as usual, I am someone who take a longer time to feel comfortable with new friends.. so i think this time round it took me a few weeks before I opened up to my friends! hehe.. hmm but once i do, i would be very enthusiatic abt it.. So i became very very noisy in the class.. lol.. one of the noise makers in the class.. lol.. guess i started the red day and the blue day lol.. surprisingly, my fellow classmates were also as crazy as me.. LOL!! so think throughout the whole poly life, I was not alone!! lol..

Memories.. It was hard to summarise what our class had gone thru.. Cos we realli went through alot alot!! I was compiling the videos and pics we had for the past 3 years.. We had so much such that edmund actualli uses a 4.7GB DVD disc for all of tat.. The largest batch in the history of RTs.. 18 of us.. made of differnent people and personalities.. We shared our happiest moments in our class. Conflicts are inevitable.. we had some.. but were just minor ones which were resolved soon.. People were amazed by our class spirit especially the fact that we are such a big batch.. We are special.. None of us drop out from the course.. Sharon said that we are the strongest batch ever:D RT0401.. I am so proud of ourselves!!! We are one united family!!

Hehe.. it was so funny.. almost all of us were 'single' at the start.. Now most of us are attached le.. Lol.. see how we grew with each other.. lol.. Seen how da and glen became a couple.. helped keelee and garrie.. the performance for keelee was a milestone of how romantic we are LOLz.. the bbq where they tied me to dear dear.. hehe.. how yun 'wooed' eric.. how serene and choy got together on April fools day... how rani tetek got piggy backed by faizal.. lol they left each otehr and now got back again.. Suzi and mr bonsai who knew each other thru the friendster.. how our sexy salwa and nabil got together.. the incident in our first chalet where uncle saved aunties' drowning handphone. omg so sweet!!! lolz.. we are blessed!!!

In short, my class, RT0401 rox! We will definitely make a difference in the future for our department.. cos we are the strongest batch! Gambate comrades!

Wasn't realli shocked to know the news that fang and kl had broken up.. Yea.. actualli had alreadi suspected sth wasnt right last year.. but did not dare to ask wat happened.. now.. after fiippling thru fang's friendster, den i realised.. oops.. she got a new bf le.. omg.. yep... heard from ah moo that fang was very upset with kl because he kinda neglected her due to his mlm business.. yep.. no doubt he had realli achieved alot there.. but i guess this is the thing that he had forsaken.. are guys always like this?? Dun exactly know wat had happened.. so its difficult to pinpoint who is right or wrong... 

Hmm.. anyway, nvr seen my dear 7jie so happi b4.. last time even when they were together, i remem both of their status in friendster were 'single'.. and now fang's status was changed to 'in a relationship'.. lol.. hmm.. though sth so superficial.. i feel that she has been much more happy now.. Glad that she found her happiness.. Oops.. hope i din say sth wrong during our last meet.. cos i wasnt aware that they had already broke off then.. Haiz.. me so lagged always.. But anyway, hope that fang will regain her smiley faceSSss and kl wld realli recover soon.

lots of things seemed to happen lateli... haiz... just find sometimes that its so hard to comunicate with him... seems wanna tell him lots and lots of things but words just seem so difficult to come out.. feel realli terrible... these two days... has been waiting for him to sms me.. but.. none came.. till i msg him.. onli a few 'nothing much' words came back... realli stuffed to the brim.. always kept myself so occupied in sch so that i don think too much.. but when i'm all alone, i'll start thinking.. looking at my hp.. hoping it to ring.. teary eyes.. hopeless..know he is still unhappi abt sth..but he just don tell..  dun even care to send a msg to me.. not even a  morning msg.. not even a how are u msg.. not even one miss u msg.. ths hurt me even more.. wanted to talk on phone with him.. but end up in silence.. and he said wanna watch tv.. sth he mentioned the other day that hurt me alot... he said we got nothing common that we like to do... he likes animae, games, sports while i like ktv, shopping.. the onli common things we do reguarly is to watch movie every week... thnking back, its realli miserable.. i feel miserable too... hope everything will be over soon....... feel realli weak in a relationship.. i always thot that i can handle my emotions quite well... but it din turn out so... i'm so so so hurt this time round... y am i in this shit.. my heart is almost broken